|
Election
Day
It is time to elect a world leader, and your vote counts.
Here's the scoop on the three leading candidates.
Candidate
A associates with ward heelers and consults with astrologists.
He's had two mistresses. He chain smokes and drinks
8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until
noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of brandy
every evening.
Candidate C is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian,
doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't
had any illicit affairs.
Which
of these candidates is your choice??
The election analysis is given below.
Scroll
down
after
you
have
chosen
your
candidate.
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
Franklin
D. Roosevelt associated with ward heelers and consulted
with astrologists. He had two mistresses. He chain smoked
and drank 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Winston
Churchill was kicked out of office twice, slept until
noon, used opium in college and drank a quart of brandy
every evening.
Adolf
Hitler was a decorated war hero. He was a vegetarian,
didn't smoke, drank an occasional beer and didn't have
any illicit affairs.
Choose
whoever you think is the best …
Driving
Exam
The following are a sampling of REAL answers received
on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's
driving school.
Q:
Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the
road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
Q:
Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way
stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper
sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q:
What are the important safety tips to remember when
backing your car?
A: Always wear a condom.
Q:
When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q:
How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too sh**-faced to find your keys.
Q:
What problems would you face if you were arrested for
drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q:
What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could
no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q:
What are some points to remember when passing or being
passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she
is cute.
Q:
What is the difference between a flashing red traffic
light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q:
How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
Q:
What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.
Q:
Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: It would be tough to be a dickhead all day long.
|
